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According to the Collins English Dictionary 10th Edition fraud can be defined as: "deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage".[1] In the broadest sense, a fraud is an intentional deception made for personal gain or to damage another individual; the related adjective is fraudulent. The specific legal definition varies by legal jurisdiction. Fraud is a crime, and also a civil law violation. Defrauding people or entities of money or valuables is a common purpose of fraud, but there have also been fraudulent "discoveries", e.g. in science, to gain prestige rather than immediate monetary gain
*As defined in Wikipedia

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Solution to Goldman Sachs's "Personhood"

When things get so bad that you think they can't get any worse, think about this: Goldman Sachs as ruler of the world and what That would look like:
Goldman Sachs Announces Candidacy For President*
By K. M. Breay - open salon

Goldman Sachs Inc., the global investment bank and financial services firm, announced this morning that it is running for president of the United States. The announcement was made at a farm near Waterloo, Iowa by the musician Ted Nugent, who was hired to speak for the candidate. “We love oil and God and gasoline!" shouted Mr. Nugent, as he held aloft two semi-automatic machine guns and a sleeve of red, white and blue painted grenades. "And we hate them people who don't look American and drive those weird tiny cars and use big words!"

Mr. Nugent kept his remarks brief and did not mention the candidate, Goldman Sachs, by name. At the end of his speech, the outspoken musician fired off several rounds of live ammunition, screamed "Let's go eat a live bear!" and then charged into the woods with the frenzied crowd following behind.

GOP consultant Mark McKinnon, who is not involved in the campaign but is familiar with its strategy, said the decision to hire Mr. Nugent to speak for Goldman Sachs was based on thousands of focus groups and polls that were conducted over the last several months. "The focus groups loved Ted because he's seen as a guy who doesn't read books, and likes to shoot things," said Mr. McKinnon. "And they felt he was their best proof that evolution, an unpopular concept amongst Tea Party voters, is total bullshit."

According to Mr. McKinnon, Goldman Sachs paid for its 1 billion dollars in market research with profits made by betting against homeowner's capacity to pay back the sub-prime mortgages it sold to them between 2004 - 2008.

A source familiar with the campaign's thinking, who spoke on condition of strict anonymity, said the conglomerate will forgo donations altogether and instead finance the campaign with a portion of the 10 billion dollars in tax payer funded bailout money the investment bank received in 2009. “The bailout funds will be converted into a new security they are calling ‘election default insurance arbitrage fixed income credit put straddles’ said the source. “

Goldman has already hedged those bets with mortgage backed junk bond option default debit commodity exchange traded funds, which were sold to pension funds and small investors over the last several months.” The source said that Goldman has already made 25 billion dollars with these investments.

Several public advocacy groups are already a considering a constitutional challenge to Goldman's candidacy, arguing that the financial behemoth has -- for all practical purposes -- already been president for the last eight years and is therefore constitutionally barred from a third term. According to Mike Allen, chief White House correspondent for Politico, the investment bank is prepared for the legal challenge.

"Last week they deployed all 12,498 of their lobbyists to capitol hill and have secured the votes for an historic piece of legislation," said Mr. Allen. "The new law will allow Goldman Sachs -- and only Goldman Sachs -- to offer up to 100 million dollars each to all nine Supreme Court justices. " A spokesman for Speaker John Boehner refused to comment.

Goldman Sachs is only the second corporation in American history to run for president. The first was former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.

(*I divided the article into more paragraphs and corrected one typo.)

Read the article here


Wretched excess said...

Then we hear from a veteran financial reporter and Wall Street insider William Cohan,
the author of the new book “Money and Power; How Goldman Sachs Came to
Rule the World”. We discuss how corporate America is sitting on piles of
cash that, rather than investing it in plant and equipment or on
R&D, the top executives are using their idle billions to buy back
company stock in order to reward themselves at the expense of the
workers they are laying off.

Wretched excess said...

Then we hear from a veteran financial reporter and Wall Street insider William Cohan,
the author of the new book “Money and Power; How Goldman Sachs Came to
Rule the World”.

Joyce said...

Here's a joke from Simplifying Life Choices ( ) that clearly shows the banks' jokes are on us:

"Helga is the proprietor of a bar.

She realizes that virtually
all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no
longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem she comes up
with a new marketing plan which allows her customers to drink now and
pay later. Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby
granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Helga’s
‘drink now, pay later’ marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing
numbers of customers flood into Helga’s bar. Soon she has the largest
sales volume of any bar in town.

By providing her customers
freedom from immediate payment demands, Helga gets no resistance when,
at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine
and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Helga's gross sales
volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president
at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute
valuable future assets and increases Helga's borrowing limit.  He sees
no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the
unemployed alcoholics as collateral!

At the bank's corporate
headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and
transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS. These ‘securities’ are
then bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold
to them as ‘AA’ ‘Secured Bonds’ are really the debts of unemployed
alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continue to climb, and the
securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the
nation’s leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the
bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local
bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts
incurred by the drinkers at Helga's bar. He informs Helga.

Helga then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being
unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since
Helga cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy.
The bar closes and Helga's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value
destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans,
thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Helga's bar had granted her generous payment extensions
and had invested their firm’s pension funds in the BOND securities.
They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and
losing over 90 per cent of the presumed value of the bonds.

wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family
business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is
taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and
lays off 150 workers. Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses
and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a
multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by
new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never
been in Helga's bar.

Now do you understand?"

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